Psalm 62:8- Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah.
Hey, it's been a little longer than usual. I don't like how long it has been, but I also think it was necessary to take a short pause to regain strength and the ability to keep writing through the difficult circumstances that have overtaken my life for the past few weeks.
This post is about the above verse, but more so about the word following it, "selah". "Selah" is a word heavily used in the Old Testament, mostly in the Psalms. It means to "pause and calmly think of this". At first I really saw no significance to it. Why should one word make any difference in how we read our Bible? When I would read a passage that included this word, I would pause and make sure I understood the last verse, and then keep going. It never clicked with me until recently how important this word is to our everyday life, and how I personally need it to deal with devastating situations.
It shocks me daily how quickly life can change. It seems like things happen too fast, before you have a say in the outcome. Just a few weeks ago, I was praying and thanking God for the joyfulness in my life. The next day I received news that altered my life completely. On August 16th, about 4 and a half weeks ago, my mom passed away due to a massive heart attack. A complete surprise to my family and I, as we had lost my uncle to similar causes in February 2016. Sometimes life doesn't pan out how you expect; actually, it never really does. It is the most devastating news I have ever received, and no matter how much I pray to understand why my mom left this earth at the age of 42, it will never make sense to me. That terrifying night is when I had a selah moment. I could choose to be mad at God for disrupting my life and taking away my mom, or I could choose to trust His plan and wait on Him. Even as a strong Christian, this is a hard choice. Of course I know that God is good. I know that His plan will always be better than mine. I know that He loves me and that His ways are higher than mine; yet I want so badly to be angry with Him. Everyone has hit this moment before. There is no exception. But there's that word again. Selah. Pause. Calmly think about what He is doing. Selah. In John 13:7, Jesus says, "What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand." We won't understand His plan in it's entirety until we are with Him in heaven. I won't understand God's reason for what has happened until I am with my mom in heaven. This is my pause moment, the place where I go back and tell God that I know His plan for me is good, that He loves me unconditionally, and that His ways are higher than mine. I could choose to be angry, and push Jesus far from my life; yet I choose to pull Him closer, so that one day He can show me how perfected His plan was for my life and how necessary it was for me to grow closer to Him during these tragedies.
These weeks that I have been away from this blog were my pause. I am waiting on Him; and I will be continually. I have learned more from this experience than I have from anything else in my life. There is no room for resentment, regret, fear, hate, impatience, or anger in our hearts if Jesus is our whole life. I am devastated and confused, yet joy overtakes my heart everyday. This is only the work of Jesus. Only Him alone.
Without Jesus, our life is full of confusion. With Jesus, the confusion is still present, but the joy He provides overcomes any stronghold of sadness, fear, or anger. In our moments of tragedy, selah. Pause and think about the plan for our lives that is yet to come. Pause and think about how necessary He is to guard our hearts when devastation comes. Pause and wait on Him, because we don't understand now, but later our eyes will be opened and we will see His perfect plan unfold before us. Trust that tears come in the night, but His joy comes in morning. Be still, selah, and know that He is God.